Day 5: An Ending and a Beginning

Today was my official last day at my office, which means I don’t have to pretend I’m still working there and can better advertise this blog.

Highlights

  • Had lunch with my former co-workers today to celebrate my “last day”
  • I got a haircut, so I look like a cool boy. The woman who cut my hair for the last 4 years and her husband now drive an RV across the country offering spiritual healing at music festivals [Carol is the coolest -Ed.] so I had to find a new place. Decided to check out Wise Owl Club on 18th street (I will never admit that I patronized an Adams Morgan business because I’m a snob) because I’m a wise owl and I read good reviews. It turned out pretty well.
  • While I waited for my haircut I read comic books in Malcolm X Park. Now I’m finally caught up with Saga. I have opinions!
  • Somehow I got talked into spending my Friday night at the dueling piano bar in National Harbor. It really taught me how generic and derivative all pop music is. Here’s a bunch of white people dancing to a piano cover of Beyoncè. 

Price is Right-cap

So it turns out I can watch Price is Right at my gym, so the game has officially changed!

Today’s episode was Father’s Day themed so all the contestants played with their fathers. You’d think this would lead to masterful teams of shut-ins and stoned teens, but you’d be wrong. Watching people be bad at game shows gets old after a while.

Best Moment: We were inches away from seeing a three-way tie on the wheel.

Worst Moment: One of the contestants had long hair and the word “dude” on his t-shirt, which Drew took as a justification to just start vomiting out Big Lebowski references. It went on for way too long.

 

A Desperate Plea to My Mother

Hi Mom,

Thanks so much for reading my stupid blog, I always appreciate your support.

I have something very important to tell you:

Your WordPress username is “SSRules.”

My guess is you meant for “SS” to stand for “social studies” but that isn’t how it would ever come across to anyone ever. Please change it immediately.

Love,
Michael

By The Numbers

Sobriety: 4/10. FRIDAY WOOOOOO!

Healthy Eating: 6/10. I had a burger for lunch and another sausage and pepper sandwich for early dinner.

  • String Cheese Count: 4.

Sanity: 8/10. I didn’t run away from the barber shop when I saw it was crowded, and also talked to the guy at the comic shop.

True Love: -3/10. People are currently pre-rejecting me.

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2 thoughts on “Day 5: An Ending and a Beginning”

  1. This is an awesome idea and good on you for standing up for your morals and ideals. Also we haven’t seen you in forever, lets fix that.

    Like

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