Weekend Update: Wedding Edition

This weekend I missed my cousin’s wedding, so first off 1000 Congrats to Jamie and Nick I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, but you kids are gonna be alright!

Now the reason I had to miss my cousin’s wedding was because it was ALSO my friends Sam and Susan’s wedding and we came to party.

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I’m a little shocked at how many people expected me to do something rude or obnoxious at the wedding. Susan already thinks I’m an immature monster because when we first met I talked about not owning a microwave, so I was on my best behavior.

Once the reception ended though, all bets were off. The wedding was in National Harbor, which of course meant it was time for some drunk ferris wheel riding! Things started off inauspicious enough with me tripping and almost face-planting in my friend James’ crotch much to the horror of the teen working there.

Here I am living it up on the wheel when I wasn’t repeatedly quoting The Third Man to everyone else’s annoyance.

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Somehow, despite choosing to sleep on my sister’s couch in Alexandria instead of taking an Uber all the way home in the middle of the night and being unsure if I was going to vomit or just curl up and die, I managed to get showered and dressed and make it to Atlas Brew Works for a morning shift in their tasting room. While there I accidentally got a bunch of extra shifts to better help sustain my funemployment.

You’d think after all that I’d go home and rest or maybe just not drink, but instead I went out to grab drinks with people and prepare to watch the big basketball match. I’m sad that the Golden State Warriors lost, but the Cavaliers just played better as reflected by the score.

By The Numbers

Sobriety: 1/10. My liver hates me and I hate it.

Healthy Eating: 2/10. I had a shit load of delicious food at the wedding and a very nice woman gave me some delicious tostadas at the brewery, but I didn’t have any other food all weekend.

  • String Cheese Count: what is string cheese?

Sanity: 7/10. I’m very sleepy.

True Love: 10/10. The truest love of all is friendship

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