Day 45: I’ll Be Right Here

Thank you to everyone who came out to the first official Fun With Funemployment meet-up co-presented by Wake-up Shake-up. Ok, it was just Laural, but she has the charm and charisma of 10 fans.

It’s been a few years since I was last at an outdoor movie screening, but apparently now what you’re supposed to do is show up super early and sitting in a parking lot in 1000 degree heat. Then you get up and leave halfway through the movie.

I’m kinda shocked by how little of ET I remembered. Between ET and Elliot’s psychic link and the scene where Michael finds ET’s bloated almost-corpse in a river it was like I was seeing a whole new movie.

I guess what I want to say is that one of the most popular films of all time is pretty good.


  • My sister Katie made me go outside and get lunch with her. Since it was Sandwich Wednesday, we stopped by Red Apron and I got a churched up meatball sub.

  • I had a really strange dream while I was napping. Allow me to explain it to you:

    So I was bartending at Atlas, but like it wasn’t Atlas? It felt like a stereotypical 20’s bar with red walls and round, padded booths. There was also karaoke.

    I had a table of people who wanted separate checks, but nobody could remember what they ordered and members of the group kept getting up and walking away to sing karaoke. Eventually – after suffering a massive panic attack – I got everything figured out. When I got back to the table the group had ditched on the check.

    Pissed off, I stormed out of the bar and entered the lobby of the hotel the bar was apparently located in. My subconscious had a lot of faces to unload, so I came across a gay wedding that was letting out of one of the ballrooms [Note: from here on out in the dream I am wearing a tuxedo]. The one groom was definitely a friend of a friend I met at a party once. I couldn’t place the other groom, but his “dad” was one of my elementary school soccer coaches.

    After I left the hotel I started walking “home.” I turned down a street and overheard a tourist dad warning his son to be careful in such a dangerous neighborhood. As I chuckled to myself at the stupid tourists, the safe street I was on immediately shifted into a weird alley with murals of El Chapo wearing an NSA ballcap. [Note: I literally have no idea why I would dream this.]

    At the end of the alley were two doors. I went inside and found myself in an abandoned school. From behind me, I heard a noise and something hit me in the small of the back.


    A homeless man had run up behind me yelling “poop!” and was now furiously urinating on my back.

    And then I woke up.

  • I’m getting so much better at parkour!  We were learning rolls today, and although I can’t do a forward roll into a standing position I am awesome at the side-roll that we’re actually supposed to use. Basically, I’m the best.

By the Numbers

Sobriety: 7/10. I think the Fat Wild Ale from Avery Brewing is my favorite of the New Belgium samplers.

Healthy Eating: 5/10. All I ate today were snacks, but most of it was fruit.

Sanity: 7/10. I’m still showing up to these parkour classes despite hating them so much!

True Love: 0/10. I’m not that charming.

Ninja Skillz: 2/10. I’m very good at rolling.


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