Day 50: 5 Years

On August 1, 2011 I officially started working in DC. My infinitely generous sister Liz got me a paid internship and even let me invade her and her now husband Wes’ condo.

As a 22-year old college grad making $8.50/hour and sleeping on an air mattress in Alexandria, VA I was living large! During the week I was eating at DC’s hip new food trucks, and on Friday nights I was watching Say Yes to the Dress with Liz. I don’t remember what I did on weekends. Probably nothing.

My plan was to work in DC for a bit, build up some experience and savings and GTFOODC. Maybe I’d move back to NYC, maybe I’d wind up somewhere else. At this point in my life I didn’t realize I hated Boston, so even that was an option.

Instead, I’ve spent the last 5 years experiencing a hodgepodge of misadventures: new friends, new apartments, new jobs, briefly crashing on my other sister Katie’s futon because my landlord was a d-bag, wonderful roommates, terrible roommates, promotions, fantastic co-workers, horrible co-workers, eating street food, drinking street drinks, bike rides, felony arrests, and expertly sabotaged relationships.

So what’s it like after being in DC for 5 years? Well, I spent most of the day naked in bed debating if I was tired or depressed, I’m underemployed at best, I have no current job prospects or interest in cultivating any, and I have no relationship to sabotage.

I think it’s time to find a new city with a new air mattress.


  • My leg still hurts a whole lot, so I skipped parkour.
  • My allergies have randomly decided to come back. I hate everything right now.

By the Numbers

Sobriety: 10/10. Been a while since I had one of these days.

Healthy Eating: 2/10. I ate a peach today.

Sanity: 4/10. Meh

True Love: 0/10. In the middle of the night a strange woman/robot propositioned me for casual sex over a dating app. That’s lust, not love, so I politely declined. Also, it was 3 AM, so that’s terrifying. Also also, by “politely declined” I mean “I was asleep, so I ignored her and when I woke up she had blocked me.”

Ninja Skillz: -10/10. I’m the worst ninja.



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