Weekend Update: I’m Alive

I know you were all worried, but after an extended hiatus I am back and better than ever!

Lucky for all of you, I spent most of that break sleeping and feeling sick, so you didn’t miss much. Still, this week’s Highlights go all the way back to Tuesday.


  • On Tuesday we absolutely kicked ass at trivia. Some weeks the questions just seem to align and we had our bases covered for the most-part. The only trouble was when two of my teammates got into a screaming match over the question “Within 10 years, in what year did Margaret Sanger coin the term ‘birth control.'” Turns out we were actually arguing for the same answer, so it all worked out in the end! [The answer is 1914, we put 1917 –Ed.]
  • I got drinks with Laural at Right Proper on Wednesday where she regaled me with stories of all the adventures she’s had recently. I’m really slacking over here. Maybe suggest an adventure?
  • The Great Muppet Caper is streaming on HBO Go, and is still the most beautiful, perfect movie ever made. Kermit and Fozzie play identical twin brothers, Miss Piggy gets TWO massive song and dance numbers, and Charles Grodin plays a lovable lout who’s also a master jewel thief. What’s not to love? If you haven’t seen this movie, fix your life immediately!
  • Work was super slow all weekend, and I barely went outside.
  • My friend James was in town for the CBC Foundation Gala, so we met up at Boundary Stone on Sunday to watch football and talk shit. I always forget how much I love Boundary Stone.

By the Numbers

Sobriety: 5/10. I don’t remember what I drank or when for the whole week, so here’s a nice balanced number.

Healthy Eating: 1/10. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What is food?

Sanity: 5/10. Same logic as sobriety.

True Love: 0/10. At some point I apparently changed my Tinder account to say “I’ve seen the fan-made ‘Director’s Cut’ of The Dark Crystal and thought it was a masterpiece. Swipe left if you aren’t on my level.” I’m sure this will go well.

Steps: 0. [I’m not adding up a week’s worth of steps, that’s meaningless.Ed.]



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