Day 100: What Hath I Wrought?

I had such grand plans for today. To celebrate 100 days of Funemployment I was going to wake up early, be productive and re-live some of everyone’s favorite moments from the blog.

Instead, I overslept and only woke up at 10 AM because my mom kept calling me. I assumed it was an emergency. Turns out she just wanted me to tell her the dates I’m visiting, which I had just told her on Sunday.

Instead of going to the gym or eating breakfast, I sat around until noon. In a last-minute panic to do something blog-related before work, I grabbed a sandwich from A. Litteri, a beer and a coffee, and sat in the arboretum.


CELEBRATION OVER!

Highlights!

  • I won the Atlas football pool. Cha-CHING!
  • My friends came to visit me for trivia at Atlas. They won because of an answer I gave them, which was fun. My team came in third, which is sad for the teams we beat.
  • I watched the first episode of The Good Place, and I guess it’s fine. I would watch Ted Danson read the paper, and I’ve yet to see Kristen Bell in a role where I didn’t love her, but the story itself is “meh” at best. There is  a scene where Ted Danson kicks a dog into the sun though, so it’s probably gonna be great.

Q&A

Thanks to everyone who submitted questions. The vast majority came from loyal reader Nicole who I have never met and have no idea who she is. Does this mean I have a fan? Have I . . . made it?

1) What percentage of posts are true? – Liz.

The easy answer to this is that 100% of the things I post on this blog are true.

I will at times take liberties with how I present situations, but that only serves to make me look worse for comedic effect. Also, I will frequently leave stuff out of the blog either because it was boring, or I forgot I did it.

2) What REALLY happened with donut shop girl? – Nicole

Her name was “Sandwich girl!”

She decided she wanted some time to think about my blog, so I got drunk and texted her a photo of myself with my face painted like a tiger with the caption “This could be us, but you playin’.”

I haven’t heard from her since.

3) Do you ever wonder if your Fitbit inaccurately counts your “steps,” thereby allowing you to falsely bolster your sense of personal fitness and mislead concerned blog readers? – Nicole

I’m concerned about how much of a worthless lump you think  I am if you think I’m INFLATING my step numbers.

I don’t use a Fitbit, I use the step tracker on my iPhone, which means that it only tracks when I’m walking with my iPhone on me. It also probably doesn’t count when I’m biking or those few random times I’m actually working out. Even so, it’s probably an accurate representation of my general worthlessness

4) Is this spiral toward sickly depression destined to continue or will you change your trajectory somewhat over the next 100 days? – Puke McGiggles

Well Puke, I’m still kind of excited to see what my bottom is. Hopefully we can all find out how deep this pit goes together.

5) Is Funemployment really that fun? – Nicole 

Funemployment is what you make of it! I’m definitely having a lot more fun than if I were sitting at a desk in a toxic work environment, but it’s also definitely not the most fun thing.

By the Numbers

Sobriety: 8/10.

Healthy Eating: 10/10. I got another sandwich from A. Litteri to eat for dinner, so this was basically the best day ever.

Sanity: 10/10. Yay everyone!

True Love: 2/10. My friend James told me I once ranked my love of a sandwich as 2/10. I don’t remember that, but I can’t really refute it.

Steps: 7,346.

 

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3 thoughts on “Day 100: What Hath I Wrought?”

  1. Hey, thanks for the mention, but it was 10:30, I only called twice instead of leaving a message because you are not necessarily prompt at returning calls, I figured you were still asleep, was confirming dates because some people actually do want to spend time with you and aren’t funemployed so they need to schedule time off for your visit and I couldn’t quite hear you on Sunday. 😛😚

    Like

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