Day 2: Yo Voté

Well, I’ve managed to survive a second day of funemployment. Is this still entertaining? Was it ever entertaining? Let me know in the comments!


  • I managed to sleep in until the ripe old time of 9:57 AM today. PROGRESS!
  • In a total betrayal of the spirit of funemployment I had a phone interview for a job today. Don’t worry though funpers [try it out – Ed.], I ended the call by telling my interviewer that considering they weren’t willing to pay me what I deserve and needed me to start before I’m able to I didn’t really have any further questions about the company or the position. I think I’m getting the hang of this!
  • I also made sure to take time today to fulfill my democratic duty and vote in the DC primary. Of course I voted for Hillary for President, but for all the local DC races I wrote in former co-workers. Considering 2/3 of the candidates were running unopposed and all 3 At-Large DC Council primary candidates are terrible, I don’t feel bad.



Price is Right-Cap

I missed 95% of Price is Right today because I had to meet up with my sister Katie to give her some stuff. I probably could have made it, but we spent a solid 20 minutes standing in the sunshine talking about random nonsense as us Boltons are want to do.

Apparently I missed PLINKO and a contestant from DC. I did catch the very end of the showcase showdown though, so I have enough to determine best and worst moments

Best Moment: A teen won the showcase showdown, which is pretty cool. I really love how stoned teens are becoming more and more of Price is Right’s target demographic.

Worst Moment: The second showcase (by design always the better showcase) was a pair of boots, a trip to Nashville and a pick-up truck. What the shit is that?

Trivia Tuesday!

My trivia team came in 4th for the second time in 2 weeks after coming in 1st while I wasn’t there. Coincidence?

Here’s a sampling of some of the night’s questions, leave your answers in the comments:

  1. Who was President of the United States during the sinking of the Titanic?*
  2. The River Taff flows through which capital city?
  3. What year was Dolly the sheep cloned?
  4. Which of the 7 Wonders of the World was located in Alexandria, Egypt?
  5. What was the fictional alter-ego of Hannah Montana?*

*questions I got right

By The Numbers

Sobriety: 8/10. I had a beer and a whiskey ginger during trivia, but only because I was super thirsty and our server repeatedly refused to give me water.

Healthy Eating: 3/10. Aside from a sandwich and banana all I ate today was leftover junk from Flight of the Conchords.

Sanity: 7/10. While I was fine overall today I did choose spend a lot of time in bed watching Happy Endings. Including skipping a networking happy hour. Also, I canceled an order on a custom suit from Indochino and accused them of body shaming me. I’d rate this as more insane, but they legitimately emailed me asking to provide photos because they refused to believe my body was the dimensions I repeatedly told them it was.

True Love: 0.1/10. I started talking to a girl on a dating app today, but I don’t want to rush things.


Day 1: It Begins

Hello and welcome to my first day of funemployment!

It hasn’t really sunk in yet that I am out of work, probably because I spent a nice chunk of the day talking to my co-workers about stuff that probably should have been addressed before I left.


  • Despite my best efforts, I woke up this morning at 6:57 AM. I finally gave up trying to go back to sleep at 9:00 AM, but stayed in bed playing with my phone until about 10:30 AM.
  • I’ve taken it upon myself to start a deep clean of my whole apartment. Is this how I plan to channel my stress over being unemployed, or are my roommates just slobs and my house is fucking gross? Only time will tell!
  • I ended my first day of Funemployment by taking a mini-road trip with friend and genuine class act (Alec Guinness Cat) Laural to see Flight of the Conchords at Wolf Trap out in Virginia. Here’s a picture of me at the show:


    Hoo boy, if you are a fan of Flight of the Conchords you sure would have enjoyed this show! Their new stuff is full of the classic banter we all love, and the old standards were well represented. If you aren’t a fan of awkward dudes rambling, then you probably wouldn’t dig it . . . or this blog

Price is Right-Cap

As you hopefully know by now, I am taking suggestions for adventures I can take during my funemployment. Feel free to suggest your own adventure!

My first suggested adventure comes from Dr. Chim Richalds (I don’t get the reference, but I know this was my friend Dylan) who writes:

Watch the Price is Right. Everyday. Wake up for it, make a solid 10:59am alarm Monday-Friday

So, I will be dedicating this section to a daily recap of The Price is Right.

This week’s Price is Right was pre-empted by Obama speaking about yesterday’s tragedy in Orlando, so I can’t present  full review. Overall it was a pretty underwhelming episode though. Everyone was terrible at spinning the wheel, and a woman missed her showcase by $12,000 because she thought it was cute to bid $24,680.

Best Moment: The very first contestant of the day was celebrating his best friend’s bachelorette party. After winning a trip for 2 to Aruba he looked directly at her and shouted “I’m keeping it!” Good on you, sir.

Worst Moment: A woman on Contestant’s Row bid $1303 only for the very next contestant to bid $1301. The crowd was visibly and audibly disgusted by the second contestant’s ignorance. They both lost to the woman who bid $1.

By The Numbers

Sobriety: 7/10. I had 3 beers during the concert, and am drinking one right now. Bad for a Monday, but probably fine for a delightful summer concert out in the sun.

Healthy Eating: 6/10. I started SO WELL today! I had a delightful egg sandwich with spring mix and blackberries on the side for breakfast, but then I forgot to eat lunch and only had chips and other garbage snacks for dinner at the concert. This rating would be lower, but I also had some grapes and cherries.

Sanity: 8/10. [probably the highest I’d ever be comfortable rating myself on here – Ed.] Even with the added stress of dealing with post-concert traffic I didn’t do anything rash or erratic all day. I don’t expect to stay this even keeled for long.

True Love Rating: 0/10. I did not find true love today.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave any questions or suggestions in the comments, and tell your friends.

The Adventure Begins

Follow along as I explore the wonders of Funemployment!

Greetings Pilot!

Prepare yourself for an adventure unlike any other [ED: this adventure is exactly like every other undertaking by a middle-class white male]

As I enter this period of funemployment I hope you will follow along and help me make the most of this time!

Check in daily as I track my activities, health, sanity and employment prospects.

Will I descend into madness? Will I immediately find a new job and prove this was a waste of my time? Will I find true love? There’s only one way to find out!

Think I’m not doing enough interesting activities? Suggest an adventure!