Day 115: Dangerous Precedent

I’m not doing a full post, mostly because I don’t feel like it and it’s almost noon already. I’m going to be traveling a lot over the next two weeks, so posts may become intermittent or I’ll just do a full recap of “Zack and Diana’s Wedding Adventures” when I’m back. IT DEPENDS ON HOW I FEEL!


  • I’m already in love with Westworld. I’m intrigued by the framing conflict that is basically “what is the purpose of storytelling?” Westworld itself allows Jeffrey Wright and Anthony Hopkins’ characters to exercise their personal demons while trying to build toward something unheard of, and Ed Harris gets to live out some bizarre personal obsession, but what about the people who just want to have a fun day in the wild west? Should characters exist in a vacuum, or does building a rich, personal history strengthen the story? I also never expected “Ed Harris is a human” to be such a mind-blowing twist.
“I’m your Huckleberry”
  • I also watched Zootopia, which was ok. When the movie first came out, I thought it was genius that Disney was actually embracing the furry community and using them to market the movie, but after seeing it I’m pretty sure everyone at Disney just likes watching anthropomorphic animals fuck.

Day 52: Return of the Ninja Boi

Like a phoenix, I rise. 

It was pretty touch and go if I was actually gonna go to parkour, but at the last second I decided to suck it up and go. 

And then I hurt myself again. 

JK! I got that bruise last week. Honestly I just didn’t stretch my hip flexors enough, so they were sore all class, but I’ll be fine. 

On Monday I missed learning wall climbs, but picked them up fast. In this class we combined that with swinging under bars, so I can finally do something that looks cool!


  • My friend Shreya and I started watching Justified. I was always hesitant to start the show because Elmore Leonard adaptations are so hit or miss. For every Life of Crime or Get Shorty there’s Be Cool and The Big Bounce. From what I’ve heard Justified kinda swings between both extremes. Just like Out of Sight (suck it Soderbergh!).
  • I spent $60 at Mom’s Organic Market and still don’t have any real food. 
  • Apparently my new way of relaxing is just watching Griffin McElroy play video games? I watched a bunch of Hearthstone videos despite knowing nothing about the game and generally disliking Blizzard.

By the Numbers

Sobriety: 10/10. Now I’m just showing off. 

Healthy Eating: 3/10. Do I dare to eat a peach? That’s all I eat anymore!

Sanity: 8/10. 

True Love: 0/10. Why even schedule the date if you’re going to ghost before it?

Ninja Skillz: 3/10. I am improving.

Weekend Update: A Forbidden Book!

I finally finished The Name of the Rose. Who wants to talk about it like we’re college sophomores? I’ve got some opinions about “truth.”

I only highlighted one passage because of its wonderfully self-aware absurdity, but it doubles as a pretty succinct summary of the story:

“But it is a story of theft and vengeance among monks of scant virtue!” I cried dubiously.

“Because of a forbidden book, Adso. A forbidden book!” William replied.

Mile a minute laughs!



  • I was wrong about which of my injuries was worse. I spent most of the weekend hobbling around because of my knee, not my ankle.
  • Apparently one of my roommates bought a grill? Also, our garbage cans are missing.
    where did I come from?
    There is a 10% chance I did this while in a fugue state.

By the Numbers 

Sobriety: 4/10. I ran out of aspirin and used beer as a painkiller.

Healthy Eating: 2/10. I went to the farmers’ market and still only ate garbage all weekend.

Sanity: 6/10. Meh

True Love: 1/10. I scheduled another date that won’t happen.

Steps: 9,116

Day 33: Exercise Boy

I stupidly went for a run in the 90+ degree weather. I did just under 3 miles, which I feel justified not doing anything else today. 


  • My friend Shreya texted me around midnight to tell me she hates me and I’m a “white asshole.” I mean she’s not wrong, if maybe a little rude. 
  • I stayed up until 2 AM watching The Big Short. I feel like what makes that movie so good is how unwatchably shitty the first 30 minutes are. I’m very proud of myself for not turning it off after the Margot Robbie scene.
  • I slept until noon.
  • These boxer briefs I bought have been a real game-changer for my sitting around without clothes on. 

By the Numbers 

Sobriety: 5/10. I had some post-run beers. 

Healthy Eating: 3/10. Despite having a fridge full of lasagna and fruit I only ate crap today. 

Sanity: 7/10. It slowly dawned on me as I was walking around that strangers probably DO hate me, but who cares what they think. Progress!

True Love: 0/10. Baby don’t hurt me. 

Steps: 7,998

Job Applied for: 0

Day 19: Black Socks

I’d like to officially welcome my sister Katie to the world of funemployment. If you’re interested in hearing about  her journey check out her blog Wake and Bake or something.


  • I hung out at The Pub and the People until about 1 am trying some of their experimental cocktails. 
  • When I got home I reheated a shitload of pasta and fell asleep reading in my desk chair. 
  • I’ve spent the majority of the day only wearing black socks. Walking barefoot on hardwood floors in my version of hell.
  • My bike wasn’t ready in time, so I’m still stuck with these dumb assholes

  • I’m declaring 2016 the year Gay Talese tried to re-establish himself as a Simpsons reference AND an asshole. I read the section of The Voyeurs Motel published in the New Yorker and shit was garbage. 
  • I finally watched the pilot for The Night Of. It’s pretty good if you like watching people notice things. Also Riz Ahmed is a treasure. If you haven’t seen Four Lions or Nightcrawler, do so immediately.

Price is Right-Cap

There were like five different models on this episode of Price is Right. They must be under budget if they can afford more than their usual two.

Best Moment: A delightful old sad sack played It’s In The Bag. He knew when to quit, and after winning $4,000 he shouted “can I hug Rachel?” He hugged the dude model too.

Worst Moment: They already brought Card Game back, and Drew is still terrible at explaining it.

By the Numbers 

Sobriety: 4/10. I’m a monster!

Healthy Eating: 2/10. All I ate today was a calzone and Chinese food.

Sanity: 1/10. Today wasn’t a great day. 

True Love: 0/10. 

Steps: 2,653